Marriage


Divorce Rates Fall
US Divorce Rate Continues to Decline In a bit of positive news, the US divorce rate has continued its steady decline over the past few years to reach a new 35 year low. Its easy to jump to conclusions in regards to this data, as there are many different contributing factors, but it is an extremely interesting data point regardless. From my own experience, lack of financial resources to even contemplate the possibility of divorce tends to be a large factor in making that leap, and I am not sure that the decline in divorces really speaks to much more than the fact that many people simply don’t have the financial resources to contemplate and go through with a divorce process right now. Especially coupled with the rapidly declining marriage rate, more people than ever seem to be making the determination that marriage is not a necessary institution, even from the perspective of raising children. I may have a somewhat biased viewpoint in this, but I deal with a large number of couples and parents on a daily basis, and the skillsets to be a good parent, and a good co-parent, are not necessarily the same skillsets to make a good spouse. I think as people continue to think about the long term ramifications on their lives prior to getting married, the divorce rate will continue to decline. What is a Typical Marriage? I think that the idea of what a marriage is has been going through some radical shifts recently, and there is no longer a singular “ideal” of what a proper marriage should look like. Traditional societal and gender roles are becoming rapidly more amorphous, which allows a lot more flexibility on the parenting side of things, and also forces a lot fewer parents and couples into situations that […]

Divorce Rate Plunges to New 35 Year Low   Recently updated !


family
There are many couples who only stay married because of their children. The effects of divorce on children are widely known. It can cause distress, anxiety, and even depression to the kids. Even if the marriage no longer works out, many loving parents choose their children first. Let’s try and navigate the two scenarios: Staying in the marriage Children thrive in consistency and stability. Breaking the news of a divorce can be earth-shattering for them. There will also be a lot of changes that they will have to go through. It will not be easy for you and your spouse as well. There will be many stages to go through before finally making the divorce official. You and your partner will also find it very challenging. It’s not going to be easy for the entire family. With staying, you can all stick to a routine.  Staying for the sake of the kids can also give you and your partner a chance to work things out between you. There are many couples who try harder for the sake of the children. Trying harder may just fix your marital issues and save your relationship. However, if the issues are more complex, staying may not be an option. If your case involves domestic violence, it is best to seek help from professionals immediately and stay away from abusive partner. Family violence should not be taken lightly as it may put you and the children at risk.  If there is no violence involved, staying in the marriage may still have its cons. Tension can become unavoidable when you and your partner can no longer work out your differences. This tension may cause anxiety to your children. Constant fighting, although not amounting to physical violence, can cause greater damage in the long run. Staying in […]

Staying for the Sake of the Kids



budget at home
If there’s one thing that ruins relationships, it’s money. That’s simply one of the first things couples—whether married or not—talk about when they start living together. It’s always a case of “who will pay for what,” and finding the right balance for the both of you. Are you moving in with your partner soon? Then you should start taking notes on how you can divide the expenses—for the sake of your future home and your relationship. Split your accounts and work out the percentage you’ll give Keeping your accounts separate is still the best option in any relationship. This will make it easier for couples to control their own earnings and avoid conflicts that come with having a joint account. What you need to do and agree to a certain percentage to allot to your housing needs while, of course, being considerate of how much you make individually. But let’s say you decide to put aside 30 percent of your salary for bills and necessities. Once that’s set, you have to commit to that. Recognize who makes more and who makes less This is in relation to the previous point. One should acknowledge if they are making more or lesser than their significant other. That way, you can pinpoint which expenses will fit your salary—whether it’s paying for the electricity, water, Wi-Fi, or buying groceries. That said, you still have to follow the allotment percentage you’ve agreed on. Again, it’s all about finding a balance in taking care of your home. Save, save, save When you’re done dividing tasks and expenses, you have to get along in this category. Saving money is key to living together. If you are spending too much on unnecessary things and not keeping your part of the agreement, this will cause problems in the long […]

How to Divide Expenses at Home when Both of You are Working


couples counseling
Is it still worth it or is it time to let go and get a divorce? Here are some signs that maybe it’s a good idea to go counseling first.  You can usually talk it out If you and your partner rarely argues and can usually fix things with a conversation, it’s probably a good idea to talk about things before making a big decision. After all, there will be a lot to talk about. Remember that your children are also affected among other things. It’s best to have a smooth divorce.  You’ve never had a proper conversation for a long time I know that this may seem like the antithesis of the first one, but, if you haven’t had a good talk with your partner for a long time, maybe it’s time to do so. Maybe a conversation is all you need to smooth things out and counseling can definitely help. In counseling, experts will be there to mediate so you really drive at the important issues. There’s been cheating If infidelity is the reason of the break-up, it’s best to go to counseling first. Cheating can stir up all sorts of emotions. This betrayal can bring up emotions that cloud judgment. A professional mediator would know best how to navigate the issues.  You are just angry You and your partner may be angry at each other for reasons other than infidelity. It’s not good to make decisions when angry. Making big decisions such as a divorce must be made with a clear mind. Anger is such a strong emotion that can push us to make drastic decisions. Couple therapists are trained in dealing with relationship issues. They are trained in listening, observing, assessing, and intervening. If you are already determined to break it off, counseling can still help […]

Considering Couples Counseling



If you’ve ever been in a relationship that came to an end, you very well know that the reasons for the break up may not be so obvious. While it’s easy to put the blame on one person, it usually takes two to tango. It’s difficult to notice our own mistakes because it’s deeply ingrained in us, such as our habits.  Here are some of the most common habits that cause emotional distance.  Talking too much Communication is very important, but not everything that comes out of our mouths are meaningful. Sometimes, we say too much. Those unnecessary things we say, more often than not, hurt the person listening. To avoid this, once must think things through first before saying something. We’ve all experienced being at the receiving end of hurtful words. They are not easy to forget and can cause resentment that can never be fixed. Also, quit nagging. Nagging is very unproductive. The person you nag isn’t deaf. It will only want to make your partner shut you out.  Lack of communication There must be a fine balance when it comes to communication. Too little and you fail to build or maintain a connection. A simple “How was your day?” goes a long way. Most couples get to a comfortable stage wherein they do not make an effort to connect with their partners anymore. But, you’ll never know a person enough. Everyday, your partner grows, and so do you, and there will always be new experiences to talk about.  Excessive complaining The golden ratio of communication should be 80% positive, and 20% direct. Usually, couples talk to their partners directly almost all the time. When it’s almost always complaints and dissatisfaction, it can cause resentment that will cause your partner to become distant. You and your partner deserve […]

Some Bad Habits that Can Lead to Divorce


children religion
In this day and age, there are now more couples with different religious beliefs that are getting married. However, the downside is deciding which beliefs their children should follow. Yes, your child has the right to choose when he or she comes of age. However, parents have to decide for their children until then. The state of Texas passed the Religious Freedom and Restoration Act (RFRA) in 2015, which prohibits the government from meddling with religion. It also states that, under this law, it is illegal for individuals to use religion to ignore civil rights protections. Likewise, the First Amendment of the US Constitution gives Americans the right to exercise whatever religion they are accustomed, to or have chosen later in life. This goes for every citizen in all 50 states. That said, how will parents—both married and divorced—deal with choosing a religion their kids should follow? If the parents are still married The parents essentially have to agree on their kids’ religious upbringing. If they don’t, they can consult with a counselor about how they can approach this matter. But if the kids are old enough to decide on their own, they should let them choose which religion they want to adopt. If one parent has primary custody The court won’t determine the children’s religion, especially if they are young. But usually, children will adopt the beliefs of whoever has primary custody of them.  If divorced parents have joint custody? This can be tricky because the children will be exposed to multiple religious beliefs and practices. But, according to the law, courts aren’t allowed to meddle. What’s advisable is to let parents expose their kids to their respective religions. Again, courts won’t dictate what religion the children should be following, and neither should the parents. Why? Because religion can […]

Religious Disputes Between Parents



incestuous
What is Incest? A relationship is incestuous if people related by blood or adoption are in an intimate, sexual relationship. Is it a Crime? Yes, it is. In the United States, incestuous relations are generally considered a crime that is punishable by law. Incestuous marriages are illegal in all the states of the United States. Despite this, not all states have laws against incestuous relationships and these incestuous relationships may continue to take place. Texas Laws on Incest In Texas, incestuous relation is a crime. In fact, it is an act of prohibited sexual conduct. It must involve the penetration of the male sex organ into the mouth, vagina, or anus. The degree of the penalty imposed depends on the kind of sexual conduct that has taken place. Incestuous Marriages Incestuous marriages are also illegal and prohibited. Should it ever happen that there was an incestuous marriage, this marriage can be annulled. Marriage is illegal if the spouses are first cousins or closer. That means sexual relationship or marriage is not allowed between parents and their children, between the children, between children and their uncles or aunts, between first cousins, and those others that may be prohibited by law. However, if for some reason first cousins were able to get married, their marriage is not considered void. Texas will recognize its validity. Other states may allow for incestuous relationships but prohibit incestuous marriages. Texas deems any kind of incestuous relationship illegal. Incestuous relations, especially those that involve sexual conduct of any sort, are illegal and punishable by law in the state of Texas.

Texas Law Regarding Incest


millennial couple
Today, divorce is considered a basic human right. Married couples should ideally have the option to separate on the grounds of psychological incapacity, abuse of any form, and other plausible reasons. The Numbers In previous years, divorce rates were high. Around the world, there had been 5.5 divorces for every 1,000 married couples. This is more common in European countries like France, Denmark, and the United Kingdom. In the United States, 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in a split yearly. That seems to be changing. Before 2018 ended, studies have found that divorce rates are decreasing. Compared to a decade ago, young couples are said to be less likely to separate. Hence, an 18 percent dip. Why did this happen? It’s believed that young millennials are now more selective when it comes to committing to marriages. Likewise, couples are now opting to tie the knot at 27 to 30 years old—some even later in life. Millennial Trends It also means that millennial couples are now more conscious of financial stability more than ever. They want to be able to manage their expenses and also get the health benefits they’ll need as they get older. This mindset is much different from the baby boomers who married young because of the old notion that one’s peak is before 25 years old. This practicality can be seen as one of the reasons why divorce rates are now less as of recent. It’s now believed that new marriages can last longer compared to 10 years ago. It’s possible this trend will carry over into 2019. This also means that there will be fewer marriages happening this year and the next few years. Especially since cohabiting (a practice that’s usually done when one is married) is now more common among unmarried couples. There […]

How’s Divorce Looking in 2019?