Domestic Violence

false abuse allegation
Divorces can be a very difficult ordeal to go through. So much so that sometimes emotions can run high and cause people to make very rash decisions and act without thinking. And though some divorces can just end up with the two parties having a shouting match, sometimes it can get even worse and to the point that words just get thrown around loosely. Sometimes it can even be a false allegation, such as that of abuse. So, what happens when your ex throws a false abuse allegation at you? What It Can Do Any false allegation anyone throws at you can definitely do some damage. Whether it be your reputation or the way people see you, it definitely has an effect. In a divorce court, a false abuse allegation can get you in worse trouble. Because it is a divorce court, any and all allegations are taken into consideration. Whether the allegation is true or not, it will have some bearing on how your divorce will go. Any allegation of abuse can turn the tide of your divorce into your ex’s favor. It can also cause you some trouble when it comes to the custody of your children. It can even end up with you getting a restraining order of sorts, which can make going about your divorce even more difficult. Whether or not it is true, these things can happen once an allegation has been made. What You Can Do If ever your ex does falsely accuse you of abuse, you don’t need to panic. Even though it may seem like it’ll make things more difficult for you, there is still a way for you to help clear things out. All this lies in how you go about your defense towards such claims. Getting a very skilled lawyer […]

The Impact of False Abuse Allegations

domestic violence
There are many types and forms of domestic abuse. It may be physical, emotional, legal, financial, or a combination of some or all of these types. Domestic abuse is a criminal pattern of undue coercion, control and power of one person over another in a relationship. It is simply any form of threatening and alarming behaviors against the victim. The behavior of abusers develops through their childhood. They started to think that their ways are normal because they learned it at an early stage of their lives. Therefore, changing the same has a low probability, if not impossible. In reality, abusers continue their destructive behavior, even after divorce. They do harmful acts against any person, including their own children. A lot of fear, pain, and traumatic experiences are some of the results of being in an abusive relationship. The only way out is to cut ties and this is through divorce. However, this must be done carefully. The things below are some of the few things to consider before filing for divorce. Quit couples counseling The counseling will just keep failing and more importantly, it will just provide valuable information to your abuser that he/she can use against you in the future. Do not tell your abuser that you are considering a divorce This may result to a more dangerous behavior on the abuser’s part that will cost you and your children’s safety. Seek help Seek trauma treatment therapy right away with a licensed clinical social worker who is trained in domestic abuse cases Also ask for help from your local domestic abuse center or the National Hotline for domestic abuse by calling from a safe phone line that the abuser cannot trace. If you have children and you fear for their safety as well as yours, call 911 and […]

Things to Do Before Calling it Quits with an Abuser

The rise of the #MeToo movement has brought sexual abuse and harassment incidents into the light of the day. It has now penetrated the cloak of marriage. High profile husbands were even exposed. More Attention for Wives Exposure to celebrity husbands’ sexual abuse is a milestone. Especially since they were previously untouchables. Advocates of the #MeToo movement will be quick to point out that it is only the first step. The primary goal is to help protect women. Thus, it would be better if more attention was given to the wives who experienced sexual abuse.  The media has still continued to cater to a patriarchal society. It gives attention to domestic violence but primarily turns a deaf ear to spousal sexual abuse. The #MeToo movement has already brought attention to it. There are also laws that specifically target marital rape.  These laws have notable loopholes, but they are still a step in the right direction considering the pressing concerns of human trafficking and violence towards women. Still, the desired change to eliminate the culture of victim-blaming is far from a reality.  America Lags Behind The #MeToo movement is a global cause. The emphasis is focused on American women since the United States has a long way to go in gender equality. For a country that was deemed progressive, it ranked 51st out of 149 countries.  The sad truth is that despite the technological advances, like the rape kit, to turn the needle on sexual abuse, there are still numerous rape victims that have not been served justice.  #MeToo Makes a Difference The #MeToo movement has brought American women to confront and evaluate their relationships. Many of them have realized that their marriages are unhealthy and that they have a choice to speak out and walk away. This is the primary […]

#MeToo Effect on Marriages

child sex abuse
Things that have to do with any kind of abuse are hard to deal with, most especially sexual abuse. Things only get harder if you find out that the abuser is your spouse and that the victim is your child. But as much as it might sound like a situation that’s hard to accept, these things do happen. And if you happen to find out that your spouse happens to be one of those people, thinking of a course of action might just be difficult for you and your child. If you do find yourself in this situation and want to learn more about what you can do, read on. Focus on Your Child With so much going on in a situation like this, the first thing that you’re going to have to focus on would be on your child. You’re going to have to start taking steps to help make sure that you get your child out of situations that might put them in danger. Whether it be taking your child out of your home first and moving them to a relative’s home or keeping constant watch over your child, you’re going to have to make sure that they feel safe, especially around you. You should also talk to them and find out how you can help them through it. Consider their feelings and help them know that what they feel is valid. If you need help with that, maybe have a therapist talk to them to help them process their thoughts and emotions. File a Case Immediately In the United States, all states, such as the state of Texas, recognize that sexual abuse is a crime. If you find out that your spouse has been sexually abusing your child, you will have to report it as soon as […]

Discovering Your Child Suffered Sex Abuse from Your Spouse

alcohol abuse divorce
There are many factors that would cover a valid excuse to enter into a divorce. One of the most common issues is alcoholism. In any relationship, even if it is not romantic, when alcohol abuse comes into play, it will really lead to many other detrimental concerns. Alcoholism: A common cause for Divorce Many of the lawyers specializing in Divorce acknowledge that when one of the spouses have the tendency to succumb into alcohol addiction, the other spouse is the one who seeks help to end the marriage. This is mostly done because the other spouse is also after the protection of his or her life, and the lives of the children involved in the family. When a family gets into this kind of issue, there are several notable instances that the abusive spouse might get violent in the process. It is most important to always be cautious of the environment, and to get a good lawyer who is experienced so that the lives of the other members of the family are protected as much as possible. When substance or alcohol abuse is involved in the case, the court delves deeper into the details into the whole issue and makes a constant effort to arrive at the best resolution. No-Fault Divorce in Texas In the state of Texas, the law acknowledges no-fault divorce. This means that a couple can file a divorce even without any fault from any of the spouses. But even though this is strongly supported by the court, it is also highly recommended by lawyers that the spouse who was a victim of the abuser should file the divorce on the count of physical abuse, emotional abuse, or cruelty. These may also be considered as valid grounds especially when the spouse is an alcohol abuser. Custody of the […]

My Spouse is an Alcoholic, What Now?

emotional blackmail
While the title says, “him”, this doesn’t mean that women do not threaten suicide as well. This is for anyone who’s been blackmailed with suicide. But for discussion purposes, let’s assume that the husband blackmailing his wife that he will commit suicide. When people speak of abuse, the first idea is about physical abuse. Scars or bruises are the telltale signs that there is a case of abuse between the married couple. In the absence of these signs, the common reaction is that any claim of abuse is merely exaggerated.  However, there are many manifestations of an abusive spouse, and it is not limited to the physical. There is also psychological, emotional, sexual or financial abuse, and it can be evidenced in many forms.  Coercion and blackmail are the more obvious forms of abuse. When one spouse is forced to do something against his or her own volition, it qualifies as abuse.   Emotional Blackmail When a husband uses emotional connections to force his wife to do his bidding, it’s emotional blackmail. These days, most wives are aware of the proper reaction when their husband makes threats of physical harm. But what if the husband threatens to harm himself instead? The husband has the tables turned, and somehow makes the wife responsible for his well-being. This is a clear form of manipulation. It may seem like the wife is trapped in a hole. It’s like she is left with no choice. The husband can use this repeatedly and make the wife a virtual prisoner.  How to React The key to avoiding the trap is to take the threat seriously, but not to show signs of panic. The threat is definitely a cry of desperation. It is encouraged that the wife gives the husband some form of reassurance. However, she must […]

My Spouse Threatens Suicide If I Leave Him

emotional abuse
One of the leading reasons for divorce is abuse. The trickiest to prove is emotional abuse—for obvious reasons. You and your lawyer have to present evidence to prove your spouse broke your esteem, and have manipulated you during your marriage. The worst part is when your future ex-spouse still emotionally abuses you during and after a divorce. What are the most common actions you should watch out for? Here are some examples: Telling you it’s all your fault Divorces can be emotionally and mentally jarring for both parties. However, there are times your ex-spouse might place the blame on you. The usual dialog is: “If you weren’t like this, this wouldn’t have happened to our family.”  Threatening to take away the kids If your ex-spouse is angry at you, they may threaten to remove your custody with your kids even if you didn’t do anything wrong. This is a way to make you vulnerable and submissive, making it easier for your ex to manipulate your decisions. Especially if there are important agreements regarding your divorce. Controlling your needs There are exes who might make you feel like you need to depend on them, even after your divorce. These people usually control the resources you have, like money and property, so even if you have split up, your ex will feel like they have power over you. What do you do to fix this problem? The best course of action is to get a lawyer to help you with your ex-spouse’s abusive behavior. This is also the best time for you to decide what kind of deals you two have to agree with before finalizing your divorce papers. Here, you get to declare if they’re abusive during your marriage, and if it continued during the divorce process. This is so you […]

Emotional Abuse in a Divorce

domestic violence
Marriage is the epitome of the greatest commitment of one to another. How can it be expected from the person you love? Violence in marriage often results in divorce or separation. One of the primary reasons for the separation of married couples is abuse. Domestic violence has been, and is still, a growing problem within the basic unit of society— the family. It is sad to think about how a happy couple ends up destroying each other. That is if they are not subject to violence themselves. A Home Wrecker An abuser is like a termite that gradually damages the foundation of a home. The relationship between the husband and wife is tarnished. Love, understanding, and care become less a priority. The children are hurt and are at the risk of developing a rebellious attitude. Some experiences may even lead to trauma. Abuse is Gradual Big things, they say, came from small steps. An abusive partner may not have shown signs of violence in the first few years. Gestures or mannerisms associating to violence may be seen in short episodes. In this case, it’s easy to shrug it off. It doesn’t make you unobservant; it is really hard for people to accept that the love of their life would actually hurt them. Going through the Grueling Process of Divorce Ending something will always be painful, more so in experiencing the end of a marriage. One may think that divorce will make everything less damaging. Often, however, this kind of divorce is a play of manipulation and power over the victim by the abuser. The abuser may use this to get child custody. With all of this, one who wants to win the battle against a powerful foe must be prepared and firm. Don’t be afraid to call a friend Thousands […]

Domestic Violence Leading to Divorce