If you are undergoing a divorce now, changing schools after the divorce is one of the major changes that you will have to anticipate. For sure, you will go through many changes, more than just transferring the kids to another school as you go through the divorce. You could also move your residence, get another job, and of course, you will have to get used to not having your spouse with you. You might even have to let go of property that you valued. There will be physical, mental, emotional, social and financial adjustments before the divorce is even finalized. In the midst of all these, you can’t help but worry about the kids.
Will you really have to change your child’s school? How will the divorce affect your child? You will keep on hoping that the divorce will not have a strong negative impact on the kids, emotionally, socially and academically.
Your children will surely have to deal with changes in their own way too. The most significant change is probably the fact that they would no longer stay under one roof with two parents and that they might have to move from one home to another. It can be a difficult adjustment for the children, especially if both parents will have to work after the divorce. You might need to ask another family member to care for them after school, or someone even more unfamiliar.
Making a Difficult Decision
You and your ex-spouse may try your best to help them maintain their old routines and keep everything that’s familiar to them as much as possible. However, it’s not going to be easy, and no matter how hard you try, they’re bound to feel that unavoidable newness that comes after the divorce is finalized. In school, they would have established certain routines, made friends and even participate in extra-curricular activities. These things will help them feel that things are still normal, and it can also help keep their minds away from the uncomfortable changes after the divorce. Hence, it is very challenging to make a decision when you’re thinking of changing schools after the divorce.
Determine Your Reasons for Changing Schools After the Divorce
Sometimes, you would be left with no choice but to uproot the children from their current environment because of the changes in your residential arrangements after the divorce. Even if you don’t need to move yourself, your children’s primary residence could change after the finalization of the divorce. You could also want to move because of the bad things that happened and you want to start completely anew. You need to determine your reasons for changing schools after the divorce, to help you decide if it’s worth doing or not.
Think of Your Child’s Best Interests
You must be worried about changing schools after the divorce, since you are reading this article. However, you always need to think about what’s in the best interests of your child. Sometimes, feeling secure in the family is more important than making sure your child stays in the same school. You can go for the option of changing schools after the divorce if it will be more beneficial for your child in the long run.
Remember that sometimes, change will be helpful for your child’s coping too. There is a chance that moving your child’s school after the divorce will be exactly what your child would need to cope with the rest of the changes in his or her life.
Listen To the Opinion of Your Children
If your children are old enough and they have their own opinion about the issue of changing schools, it would be a good idea to listen to them. The decision you are about to make will impact their life and growth perhaps more than yours, so knowing what they think and feel about the issue can be helpful in reaching a proper decision. The period surrounding the divorce is a time when your children may feel insignificant and ignored, and involving them in decisions that will affect them can make a huge difference to them and to your parent-child relationship. It is easy for your child to feel resentful because of all the changes that are happening around them, and listening to their opinion can help minimize that.
Each situation and every family is unique. Especially with children and teenagers, it can be difficult to work around things to keep everybody happy. In the end, you just need to be patient to fulfill your duty as a parent. Even though you’re on the verge of losing it because of all the negotiations you had to do in court during the divorce process, still, do your best to keep your cool. You may be unhappy with the results of the divorce, but think about how it is affecting your children. They still have the most to lose.
Take time to consider the factors and listen to your children. You might even have to listen to your ex-spouse too, no matter how difficult it is.
Check out this article about Dealing with the New School Year After Your Divorce in Texas .
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