emotional abuse

Emotional Abuse in a Divorce


One of the leading reasons for divorce is abuse. The trickiest to prove is emotional abuse—for obvious reasons. You and your lawyer have to present evidence to prove your spouse broke your esteem, and have manipulated you during your marriage.

The worst part is when your future ex-spouse still emotionally abuses you during and after a divorce. What are the most common actions you should watch out for? Here are some examples:

Telling you it’s all your fault

Divorces can be emotionally and mentally jarring for both parties. However, there are times your ex-spouse might place the blame on you. The usual dialog is: “If you weren’t like this, this wouldn’t have happened to our family.” 

Threatening to take away the kids

If your ex-spouse is angry at you, they may threaten to remove your custody with your kids even if you didn’t do anything wrong. This is a way to make you vulnerable and submissive, making it easier for your ex to manipulate your decisions. Especially if there are important agreements regarding your divorce.

Controlling your needs

There are exes who might make you feel like you need to depend on them, even after your divorce. These people usually control the resources you have, like money and property, so even if you have split up, your ex will feel like they have power over you.

What do you do to fix this problem?

The best course of action is to get a lawyer to help you with your ex-spouse’s abusive behavior. This is also the best time for you to decide what kind of deals you two have to agree with before finalizing your divorce papers. Here, you get to declare if they’re abusive during your marriage, and if it continued during the divorce process. This is so you can keep yourself, and even your kids, protected from your ex-spouse’s actions.

You can also approach a divorce counselor to talk about your troubles and get the help you need emotionally and psychologically. Ex-spouses can also go to counseling to deal with their behavioral problems, and also find out if they are capable to take care of your kids.

Now that you know how to identify abuse of any kind and how you can fight it, you can go through your divorce with the best support system for you. Just make sure you’re always protected and that your properties are secure.

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Mr. Hutton is a Divorce and Custody Lawyer based out of Round Rock, TX. His background is with child psychology at Arizona State University where he received a B.S. in 2006, and he continued this by working with the Children’s Right’s Clinic at the University of Texas School of Law where he received his J.D. in 2009. Throughout his practice, he has been a strong proponent of utilizing modern technology to improve his practice and the representation of his clients. He currently is the technology chair of CAFA of Travis County and is committed to improving and modernizing the practice of law in Texas.

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