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How to Communicate Effectively with your Former Spouse on Parenting

Ideally, when you talk about raising your children right, one pictures a complete family. However, divorce is becoming common in today’s society. No matter how we want to give our children a traditionally two-parent family, some things are just not on your way. This article can help divorced couples to have a proper communication regarding parenting.

Take time to heal all wounds that were caused by your divorce before interacting again. It is not advisable that you deal with your ex while having strong sentiments towards them. Give yourself some space to cool it down. There will always be some issues and arguments when discussing about the child’s schedules, school activities, and other personal matters. That’s a lot of work especially when you are dealing with the person that, supposedly, you don’t want to interact with. 

Consider the Choices of your Ex-Spouse

Plan out together all necessary things for your co-parenting. Don’t decide on matters alone. This could just be a cause of your arguments. Always hear out the suggestions of your ex-partner.

One of the reasons why you probably broke up with each other is your disagreements on certain things. However, in this case, always put in your mind that giving your child a healthier family life is what you are after to. So even if you prefer not to listen to your ex-spouse, try to do it this time. Miscommunication can make things worse.

Have an Effective Communication

To have an easier communication with your former spouse, you can try to think of it as a business deal. Each of you has the obligation to give your child a better future ahead of them.

As what you do when interacting with a business partner, at least treat your ex with humility and respect. In return, your co-parent, seeing that you take things professionally, will treat you back the same. However, in treating your co-parenting as a business deal, try not to sound bossy when making requests. Your partner might misinterpret this and give them a bad impression. 

Decide on the Limitations of the Co-parenting

As much as possible, limit your topics on things related to your kids only. Don’t try to open discussions that would lead to your problems in the past. Focus on the activities and issues of the child.

Keep in mind that it is their needs, not yours. If you think that the conversation may lead to some personal problems, you can attempt to switch the topic. It would also be favorable if you can keep discussions short. Having long periods of meeting up can lead to unfavorable subjects and can make the both of you feel awkward.

No matter how you approach parenting, it is important not to put your children in the middle. Don’t displace your anger to them and don’t use them to deliver messages to your ex. Discuss about it with your ex. If you can’t talk directly to him or her, find other medium where you can vent out your feelings. 

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Mr. Hutton is a Divorce and Custody Lawyer based out of Round Rock, TX. His background is with child psychology at Arizona State University where he received a B.S. in 2006, and he continued this by working with the Children’s Right’s Clinic at the University of Texas School of Law where he received his J.D. in 2009. Throughout his practice, he has been a strong proponent of utilizing modern technology to improve his practice and the representation of his clients. He currently is the technology chair of CAFA of Travis County and is committed to improving and modernizing the practice of law in Texas. If you have any questions you can contact him at

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