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How to Deal with your Relationship After an Affair


Now that it is almost Valentines Day, let’s talk about relationships more. I’ve already posted on Infidelity, but, let’s delve deeper and talk about how exactly to deal after finding out, after it has been going on for quite a while and you’ve known for that long as well.

Whether you are a long-time couple or already married, it is infidelity that worries most people. It is cheating that we fear most in our relationships. It is when you lose trust to your partner and lose confidence within yourself.

The result of your partner cheating on you leaves you feel insecure. It breaks every foundation of marriage. Here are some situations that may help you decide and go through the pain that infidelity has caused you.

What should I do when I discover my spouse cheating on me?

Strong emotions results to bad decisions. Always remember that immediately deciding on your relationship might get you regretting in the near future. At least, let all emotions pass before giving verdict to your cheating partner.

As painful as it maybe, not thinking twice will make things worse. However, don’t keep all negative emotions just within you. Let it out. Spending a day or two alone can help you think and clear your mind. You can spit everything out and this can make your baggage lighter. 

What to do if you still want to save your marriage?

The most important thing that keeps a relationship going, other than love perhaps, is trust. You cannot always worry and, from time to time, sneak onto your partner’s things or phone just to make sure he or she is not doing it again.

If you have chosen to stay in your relationship after infidelity, you also need to do some adjustments. Yes, it is your partner’s duty to gain your trust again but you also have to forgive. It is difficult to stay in a relationship where you always fight and bring up things in the past especially when your spouse truly wants to change.

Move on, gradually, and learn to trust again. Give your partner a chance to explain. Examine what went wrong and try to change it for the better.

How does one trust their unfaithful partners again?

Of course, it’s a lot of work trying to fix a broken glass to be like what it used to be. You really need to go through some wounds. You’ve been hurt and felt being betrayed. Nevertheless, when you have a good heart, everything will be worth a second chance. Like what was said in the last paragraph, forgiveness is the key if you want to trust someone again.

Don’t be afraid to talk about the cheating with your partner. Ask everything you want so that all questions will be answered. However, you also need to protect yourself. Decide wisely and keep on observing the flow of your relationship.

Is it worth staying?

For better or worse, ‘til death do us part. You made these vows to each other. Think about your children and all the years you’ve been through. Think about your love in spite of the cheating; there you are still longing for each other.

Sure, forgiving and fixing your problems will be worth it. But, of course, carefully assess if your partner is sincere in saving your relationship.

Make him or her gain your love and trust again. Do your part and listen then forgive. Guard yourself and your spouse, as well. You do not want another affair ruining you so even if you have trusted your partner again it also wise to always have your heads up.

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Mr. Hutton is a Divorce and Custody Lawyer based out of Round Rock, TX. His background is with child psychology at Arizona State University where he received a B.S. in 2006, and he continued this by working with the Children’s Right’s Clinic at the University of Texas School of Law where he received his J.D. in 2009. Throughout his practice, he has been a strong proponent of utilizing modern technology to improve his practice and the representation of his clients. He currently is the technology chair of CAFA of Travis County and is committed to improving and modernizing the practice of law in Texas. If you have any questions you can contact him at timothy.hutton@austintexaslegal.com

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