middle marriages

Middle Marriages: Don’t Get too Excited


For most people, the pain of divorce runs deep. For those who were on the receiving end of the petition, they may end up making drastic decisions to find comfort. 

This is why there are “middle marriages.” This is when a divorcee would abruptly enters into marriage again even when the divorce is still considered “fresh.” For first marriages, almost half of them end up in splitting, but for the second marriages, they have an alarming 67% divorce rate. 

Why There are Middle Marriages

It is often called “middle” marriages because the hope is that the person would learn and eventually find the right person. 

There are a myriad of reasons why people would tie the knot again so quickly after a divorce. Aside from easing the emotional grief, some divorcees are terrified of the prospect of going through life alone. Some have logistic or financial reasons: they are used to having a homemaker around, or having a “man in the house” to pay the bills. 

Wired to Need Somebody

Scientific studies reveal that seeking a partner after divorce is part of a biochemical reaction. Divorce is equated with separation and rejection, and it is similar to a drug addict experiencing withdrawals. 

When one is in a relationship, there is a natural “high” from a dopamine rush which makes us feel good. If that “high” is taken away, we will panic to try and find it again.

People would enter relationships, and it would also be easy to find fellow divorcees since they are in a similar state. However, it is probably best to let the dust settle. There should be sometime to be alone and make sure that you are clear with your feelings towards the other person and not just satisfying a need or filling out a void. 

Divorced individuals would often suffer from depression or have low self-esteem. They have many questions about themselves and their value as a person. If someone shows interest in them, they may see that as an answer. 

It’s Stress, not Love

After the pain of divorce, we will feel good if we feel desired by others and mistake it for love. It is good advice to seek professional help in order to assess ourselves. Do we want a marriage, or just a dopamine rush?

Divorcees need to find constructive outlets like intense exercise, dancing and challenging sports. They can provide oxytocin, a milder version of dopamine. There are also other techniques like meditation to calm your mind and get rid of anxious thoughts.

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Mr. Hutton is a Divorce and Custody Lawyer based out of Round Rock, TX. His background is with child psychology at Arizona State University where he received a B.S. in 2006, and he continued this by working with the Children’s Right’s Clinic at the University of Texas School of Law where he received his J.D. in 2009. Throughout his practice, he has been a strong proponent of utilizing modern technology to improve his practice and the representation of his clients. He currently is the technology chair of CAFA of Travis County and is committed to improving and modernizing the practice of law in Texas.

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