If you’ve ever been in a relationship that came to an end, you very well know that the reasons for the break up may not be so obvious. While it’s easy to put the blame on one person, it usually takes two to tango. It’s difficult to notice our own mistakes because it’s deeply ingrained in us, such as our habits.
Here are some of the most common habits that cause emotional distance.
Talking too much
Communication is very important, but not everything that comes out of our mouths are meaningful. Sometimes, we say too much. Those unnecessary things we say, more often than not, hurt the person listening. To avoid this, once must think things through first before saying something. We’ve all experienced being at the receiving end of hurtful words. They are not easy to forget and can cause resentment that can never be fixed.
Also, quit nagging. Nagging is very unproductive. The person you nag isn’t deaf. It will only want to make your partner shut you out.
Lack of communication
There must be a fine balance when it comes to communication. Too little and you fail to build or maintain a connection. A simple “How was your day?” goes a long way. Most couples get to a comfortable stage wherein they do not make an effort to connect with their partners anymore. But, you’ll never know a person enough. Everyday, your partner grows, and so do you, and there will always be new experiences to talk about.
The golden ratio of communication should be 80% positive, and 20% direct. Usually, couples talk to their partners directly almost all the time. When it’s almost always complaints and dissatisfaction, it can cause resentment that will cause your partner to become distant. You and your partner deserve respect. You should treat each other with respect.
Not showing empathy
Action speaks louder than words and if your partner shows emotional distress, you are expected to show support. In fact, that’s the very purpose of intimate relationships. If your partner does not feel that you are his or her number one supporter, then there’s something amiss. Your partner will seek emotional support elsewhere.
Some complaints are important and must be thoroughly discussed. Dismissing your partner’s valid issues will surely make him or her feel dismissed and neglected. Issues must be addressed and worked out.
Now that we’ve come to an age of powerful smartphones and computers, most of our attention is to our screens. It’s common to see couples together but glued to their devices. It seems that dinner dates and other intimate moments are not as immersive anymore. It has a dramatic effect on the mood and happiness of your partner. It can also even affect your partner’s trust.
These little habits we are guilty of doing can easily add up and result in a break-up. Divorce is difficult especially when not understood. It is best to discuss issues with your partner even if divorce has already been decided.
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