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Staying for the Sake of the Kids

There are many couples who only stay married because of their children. The effects of divorce on children are widely known. It can cause distress, anxiety, and even depression to the kids. Even if the marriage no longer works out, many loving parents choose their children first.

Let’s try and navigate the two scenarios:

Staying in the marriage

Children thrive in consistency and stability. Breaking the news of a divorce can be earth-shattering for them. There will also be a lot of changes that they will have to go through. It will not be easy for you and your spouse as well. There will be many stages to go through before finally making the divorce official. You and your partner will also find it very challenging. It’s not going to be easy for the entire family. With staying, you can all stick to a routine. 

Staying for the sake of the kids can also give you and your partner a chance to work things out between you. There are many couples who try harder for the sake of the children. Trying harder may just fix your marital issues and save your relationship.

However, if the issues are more complex, staying may not be an option. If your case involves domestic violence, it is best to seek help from professionals immediately and stay away from abusive partner. Family violence should not be taken lightly as it may put you and the children at risk. 

If there is no violence involved, staying in the marriage may still have its cons. Tension can become unavoidable when you and your partner can no longer work out your differences. This tension may cause anxiety to your children. Constant fighting, although not amounting to physical violence, can cause greater damage in the long run. Staying in an unhappy marriage may also take its toll on both you and your partner. If you can’t be honest with yourself and your partner, communication may not be open. Communication is very important for the sake of the children.

Getting a divorce

While divorce can be hard for the family, it can be the healthier option in the long run. With a divorce decree, the needs of the children will be of paramount consideration. You and your partner no longer have to pretend and can ultimately become happier. Both of you can then focus on becoming better parents. 

Divorce means going through a lot of changes. Sharing custody can also be challenging for everyone. However, it will create a safer, more peaceful and open environment for your children. Who knows? Your relationship with your ex-spouse may also become better with space. 

In the end, it’s better to make this decision as a family. If your children already witnessed your marital issues, it’s best that you also listen to what they have to say rather than just guessing. You may think you are doing your children a favor by staying in the marriage for their sake, but sometimes, kids surprise us.

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Mr. Hutton is a Divorce and Custody Lawyer based out of Round Rock, TX. His background is with child psychology at Arizona State University where he received a B.S. in 2006, and he continued this by working with the Children’s Right’s Clinic at the University of Texas School of Law where he received his J.D. in 2009. Throughout his practice, he has been a strong proponent of utilizing modern technology to improve his practice and the representation of his clients. He currently is the technology chair of CAFA of Travis County and is committed to improving and modernizing the practice of law in Texas. If you have any questions you can contact him at

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