One would think that life following divorce means freedom from commitments. You would think life is easier when you’re single again. Well, for some it can also be the opposite.
The picture of being alone and no one to be with, especially during the Holiday season, can be a bit depressing. After all, life is not as black and white as people want it to be. There will always be gray areas to which we cannot avoid.
Divorced couples both experience the good and bad things during the holidays.
Having kids, to most couples, can be the hardest part during any holiday.
Where will the child celebrate Christmas? Thanksgiving? New Year’s Eve?
As we can anticipate, it will benefit one and can disadvantage the other or perhaps both can benefit if the child celebrates the holidays with only one of the parents.
For instance, if the kid celebrates, Christmas together with the mother, the father might be alone and be lonely during the Christmas season. On the other hand, if the father has a second family, he can spend more time with them and would not worry about unpleasant situations that might come up between his other child and with his new family. Thus, this situation can benefit them both.
Another circumstance is the celebration of holidays with the families and friends of your ex-spouses.
It cannot be avoided that there are attachments already formed with these people. It would really be a lonely thought that you won’t be able to spend the holidays with them. Even if they invited you to come over, things might get a little messy especially when there are still unresolved issues among you.
On the other hand, people who don’t have good relationships with their spouses’ family and friends celebrate because they need no interactions with them anymore. Creating a new holiday tradition can be exciting and it is an opportunity to explore other things. Spending the holidays with your friends whom your former spouse doesn’t like might do well at this time.
As you may notice, it all depends on what situation you are in. It depends on whether you have kids together and it depends on the people around you. Most especially, it depends on yourself and your spouse.
If you chose whether to be distant or to interact with them, there will be always the good and bad things as a consequence of your divorce.
It is important to take it all positively and move forward to the brighter side of life. Holiday season is the time to be happy so don’t stress yourself out just because things weren’t the same as before.
Wish you enjoyed the holidays! Happy New Year from my family to yours!