Divorce marks the end of a partnership, and in most cases, it is a sad occurrence. However, a divorce can open the door for new beginnings for everyone involved. When a marriage ends, it gives you a second chance at a relationship.
If you have a child together, then there is a need to maintain regular contact with your ex-husband. There are the issues of visitation (if you have custody of the children) and child support. You also need to discuss decisions about your children and share milestones like graduations together.
There will be awkward moments, but if you have survived the divorce proceedings, then this is something you can get through. However, the game changes when your husband remarries before you do. There is now a new wife you need to share your lives with, whether you like it or not. It would be best for you and the children if you could just get along. Here are tips on how to do it.
Accept the New Reality
Whatever the circumstances on who initiated your divorce, if it has been approved by the court, then it is probably the best for all parties involved. The reality is that your ex-husband is free to marry someone else. You may feel that you have been betrayed, but this is not the case at all.
Both you and your ex-spouse are no longer bound to each other, and the only courtesy he owes you is to inform you of his decision.
Corollary to the first point, it is important to remember that your ex-husband is no longer “yours.” Thus, the new wife is not a competitor, nor is she someone who stole him away from you.
Even in cases where the cause of the divorce is your ex-husband having an affair with the eventual new wife, the divorce proceeding should have sorted that out. There is no need to compare yourself with her.
It is easier said than done, but you have to see the new wife as a neutral person who will eventually be involved in raising your children. Which leads us to the last item.
Consider the Children’s Welfare
Since you are no longer a wife, you can focus on your new primary role as a parent. Thus, you should consider their feelings first. Divorce has caused them much pain, perhaps more than yours.
They have been subjected to too much conflict, and the last thing they need is another tense situation. You, your ex-husband and the new wife should all act like adults and be civil.