ex-spouse

To My Ex-Spouse, With Love


Let me just share to you an open letter of a friend (who wants to remain anonymous) to his ex-spouse.

Dear ex-spouse,

I know we’ve had our differences, but I’m proud of us for getting through this. They say nothing lasts forever, and I agree, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we can’t be on good terms out of respect, especially considering our children.

I want you to imagine the first time we met. How strangers became friends, then lovers, husband and wife, parents, before eventually, ex-spouses. What we went through was rough, it had all kinds of bumps on the road. There was a time I thought I wouldn’t get through it, but I did. We did. 

Now imagine that first time with someone new. I’m not cuffing your wings anymore. Fly as freely as you want to find yourself, rekindle your passions, or foster new relationships. I know I would. We both have our whole lives ahead of us. This divorce is a minor setback, but don’t ever let it define you or your life. We had our challenges, but I would never exchange our experiences for another because that made me who I am today. It may have been too much to handle at one point, but we powered through. There just came a time when we couldn’t, and that’s okay.

As humans, I think that we are strongest when we accept our weaknesses. I think this because I know it’s not easy. We will try to bounce back from anything that might push us down, but sometimes, we just can’t. And I want you to know that that’s perfectly fine.

I want to thank you for the years you spent with me. We had our moments filled with love and passion and smiles, but there were also tears and shouts and silence. I might even consider those to be the best of both worlds. I truly am grateful. I hope you find another love that is as heart-warming as ours were, maybe even more. I hope we both do. And I know in my heart that we both will. Let’s take this divorce as an unlikely milestone, because honestly, not many people do (but I get it, of course).

Our children will understand. Maybe not now, but someday. We will make them understand that not all loves last a lifetime. And it’s not about the length of the relationship, or the intensity, but rather, it’s the mutual understanding and respect, and commitment that two people are willing to give to one another.

So let’s cherish whatever moments we get to be with them. One day, they will get used to the alternating weekends, and that some holidays they get to spend with me, and some with you. It will get better. All we need is patience and compromise. We will get through this. I hope you never run out of patience and will to explain because we owe them that much. I know I won’t.

For the last time, I wish you well, and I hope you know that despite everything we’ve been through, and even if we weren’t meant to be in the end, you will always, always, have a special place in my heart.

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Mr. Hutton is a Divorce and Custody Lawyer based out of Round Rock, TX. His background is with child psychology at Arizona State University where he received a B.S. in 2006, and he continued this by working with the Children’s Right’s Clinic at the University of Texas School of Law where he received his J.D. in 2009. Throughout his practice, he has been a strong proponent of utilizing modern technology to improve his practice and the representation of his clients. He currently is the technology chair of CAFA of Travis County and is committed to improving and modernizing the practice of law in Texas.

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