Planning for divorce proceedings is never a pleasant thing. For most couples, they have invested most of their lives for their marriage to work out. Now, they need to spend the same time, money and effort just to get the best deal from the ruins of their dream relationship.
In most cases, you will inevitably have to work with a divorce lawyer. They will be your best allies in this “war.” With this in mind, your relationship with your divorce lawyer will set the tone for the weeks and months ahead.
Before Meeting with your Divorce Lawyer
The best advice before meeting with a divorce lawyer is to be upfront about your intentions. Have you already decided to file for divorce? If not, it is best to consult a lawyer on what it entails, not just the financial cost, but also the irreparable damage it could bring to a relationship.
A good divorce lawyer would present divorce as the final option, but the choice is really up to you.
If you are meeting with a divorce lawyer with the clear intention that your marriage is already beyond saving, then it is best to clearly paint the big picture and be clear in what you want to achieve. Examples would be securing full custody or acquiring the shared family home.
How to Help your Divorce Lawyer Help you
In order to get the best chance to gain the desired ruling, you must work with the divorce lawyers. You need to be transparent and divulge all the vital information as early as possible. This is a relationship built on mutual trust.
For example, if you have had an affair, then you must give that information so that your divorce lawyer will know how to defend it. That, and other aspects of your relationship whom the other side (your soon-to-be ex-spouse) can use to attack you should be completely divulged in order to formulate a counter-strategy.
Also, as a client, you need to trust the wisdom of your lawyer. There would be many times when you have to “lose the battle to win the war.” A good lawyer will not promise to obtain everything in your wish list (full custody, the house, alimony) if it is not realistic.
If your lawyer advises you to concede certain points of dispute in order to gain favor with the judge, it is best to agree with him. Remember that terms being implemented while the divorce trial is ongoing are not at all congruent to the final ruling. Thus, it is best to focus on this goal.